It was one year ago that I posted about the boys in their “Best Big Brother” t-shirts.
That was then…
And this is now…
The shirts still fit them and we’re still waiting to be matched with their little sister. It doesn’t seem like much newsworthy has taken place regarding the adoption in the past year. A friend and I were talking the other day how I am discouraged at the lack of communication we’re getting from our placing agency and she said “Well, you know you’re closer now than you were when you first started.”…TRUE. We’ve been at this a year and a half, so we better be closer now than when we first started!
So, maybe I should shed some light on what the latest is. We are still waiting for our referral (to be matched). We talk often about the newest member of our family, but I don’t like to bring it up all the time because there are still so many unknowns. We don’t have answers right now. I don’t want the boys to be completely wrapped up in it either because I don’t want them to worry. Plus, as children, their sense of time is skewed, so I’m not sure what they expect in all this anyway. They won’t comprehend it fully until it actually happens, and maybe not even then. We also don’t want them to worry about the money needed for the adoption. The kids have all said things to us along the lines of “we shouldn’t spend that money because we have to save for our adoption girl” or “here, I want you to have this money for our girl, so we can bring her home”. It is very sweet, but also makes me a little sad because I don’t want them focusing or worrying about adult issues such as where large amounts of money are going to come from. How do they know that money is needed for an adoption? They’ve been with us every step of the way. They’ve helped with garage sale fundraisers, they see me filling out grants, they rejoice with us when we’re awarded grant money, they’ve witnessed family giving to our cause. Nobody had to sit them down and explain the financial burden of adoption. We just tell them the truth. And that is, that we’re trusting the Lord to provide and that they don’t need to worry about that. So, fundraising is something that continues to consume a lot of hours in our adoption process. This has been a constant.
One hot topic of conversation lately with the kids is what we should name our daughter. The kids really like throwing out ideas (some legit and others completely ridiculous just for a laugh) and a lot of people ask us if we have a name chosen. We have not.
On Monday we’re having a phone consultation with an International Adoption Specialist from a very well respected children’s hospital nearby. We’re excited to get set up with this doctor because once we get our referral, which will consist of our child’s history and medical background, she will look at it and give us feedback in very short order. This way we can proceed armed with as much information as possible. Because these kind of specialists know what to expect and look for with different countries and how to sort of read between the lines, it is recommended that they be utilized if possible. We’ve heard great things about our clinic and feel blessed to have such services available to us! Another bonus to having a specialist like this lined up is that when we’re overseas, if we need anything (medicine, etc.), she’ll make sure we get it.
Our home study expired in April, but our social worker said we would update it later this summer. Since we’re doing an international adoption, there’s no rush in updating it. I trust our social worker so whatever she says… I’m sure there are other things that will need to be redone or updated that we don’t even know about at this point.
I mentioned that the communication has not been stellar with our placing agency. We’ve been told repeatedly throughout our process by various people that this is normal. Feedback? Any adoptive parents out there who can shed some light? Anyone else run into this? I’m hoping that when a referral comes that this will change. Please, encouragement anyone?!